


Love me, love me maybe

by duneytunes



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duneytunes/pseuds/duneytunes
Summary: "Do you like jasmines?" Tatsumi asks, and Mayoi has to ponder the thought for a moment. He hadn't been particular about the scent of flowers— they were unbefitting of a creature like him. He never saw himself ever associating with something as lovely as an elegant rose, or a bright sunflower. But, jasmines seemed to suit Tatsumi well. The sensual and almost intoxicating sweetness it held captured Tatsumi well in the form of a flower. So deep in thought, he doesn't realize he'd been chewing idly on his bottom lip."...Yes, I do." He mumbles, shutting his eyes. "I love jasmines."
Relationships: Ayase Mayoi/Kazehaya Tatsumi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 94





	Love me, love me maybe

**Author's Note:**

> In flower language and in the bible, jasmines meant 'God's gift.'  
> Growing up religious jasmines were everywhere in our home. This fic was written with two things in mind: my headcanon that Tatsumi likes to do gardening, and that he smells faintly of jasmines. 
> 
> Been sitting on this fic for maybe two weeks now im happy to finally have it out!

Tatsumi was unsure of what to do— He felt immediate worry the moment Mayoi had slinked away from his hold, loose enough for Mayoi to be able to do so easily. He held him gingerly, thoughtful, much like every other way he's gone about handling the man. Though Tatsumi knew full well that Mayoi wasn't so fragile that he would fall apart with something as simple as a tight embrace, it was moments like these that would make him think otherwise.

_“I love you.”_

Three words had strung themselves together and left Tatsumi without him realizing. With his heart swelling in his chest and more than eager to lay itself bare for the other man, before he could think twice about it, he'd said it. And now, Mayoi was staring at him as if Tatsumi had suddenly grown two heads. 

"Mayoi-san? It’s okay, you can take your time before giving me an answer." He was panicked. Was he going to run? Had he gone too far?

"No— I-I mean. I'm sorry... I..."

His fingers curl and begin to scratch at the inside of his palm, and thankfully his hands were gloved for nervous tics such as these. "I'm not used to... _That._ I'm sorry." His eyes moved to the floor now, unable to even look at Tatsumi in the eyes, too afraid to think of what look the man would have. Even he was fully aware of how embarrassing it must be to have someone’s ‘I love you’ be returned with an apology, and it wasn’t that he didn’t love him back either... But despite them having grown closer, significantly so, some things were harder to accept than others. Some things felt overwhelming, and even the most gentle forms of affection would suffocate him. Roses had their thorns, and his came in the form of guilt, wrapping around his neck and coiling tighter the more his emotions bloomed. Unconsciously his hand had moved to his braid, at first to fiddle with it and the ribbon that held it together. But soon he’d curled a few fingers around the locks to make away with a few self-punishing tugs.

It was then that Tatsumi had decided to snap out of being idle, pushed on by the need to break Mayoi from these harmful little habits. It was almost instinctive, the way he carefully took hold of his wrists and urged his hands away from his braid. He held them in-between his own, his grasp on them not too tight, but secure enough to keep them still. He could feel them twitch slightly in his hold, and he watches Mayoi settle for nibbling on his bottom lip. This wasn’t easy, not for either of them.

And yet Tatsumi doesn’t regret what he said, and he wonders if the sting in his heart seeing his beloved in such a state was his punishment. He rubs his thumb over his gloved fingers, his eyes focused on Mayoi. “I am not upset, I promise.”

His earnest, genuine words fail to reach Mayoi completely, as much as he wished they would. But doubt lingered, and his own heart was far too stubborn to accept it as fact— and in some way, Tatsumi knew. He who by now had grown sensitive to his beloved’s emotions knew how unforgiving he was to himself. His heart ached, yet for his sake he fought to show it, to let the other know instead his feelings were unwavering, and willing to accept him whole.

He slowly brings a hand to his face, hesitating just long enough to allow Mayoi a chance to pull away before stroking his cheek and tucking a lock behind his ear. He watches Mayoi preen under his affection, and the way he purses his lips and furrows his brows as he leans against his touch ever so slightly all makes Tatsumi aware of the heat blossoming in his cheeks.

_I love you._

He doesn’t dare say it again, but with every little time he threads his fingers through his hair, every gentle squeeze he gives his hand, he can only hope that the message would at least go through, even without him having to say it.

Mayoi feels his own heart ache in his chest, a nauseating, contradictory mix of guilt and yearning. His mind begs him to pull away, to run and spare Tatsumi from having to coddle him any further, yet pleads with him to lean in closer and bask in his warmth.

But with the hold Tatsumi has on him, the first option was essentially impossible, and it isn’t like he _wants_ to run either. The inner conflict is almost dizzying, and he looks at Tatsumi with eyes begging him to choose for him— and so he does.

Extending his other arm forward, he gestures for a hug, and with that Mayoi’s body moves in before he could think. He buries his face in the crook of his neck and slides his arms around him. His inhibitions held on to him tight, and yet they became fragile, shattering the moment Tatsumi would so much as ask for a hug. He needed this, both of them did. He tightens his hold around him, feels Tatsumi's fingers thread through his loose violet locks, and he laces his fingers behind the man. They stay like this for a moment, savouring the calm silence between them.

Mayoi knew for a fact that Tatsumi knew his way around a garden; he guessed that he was responsible for taking care of one back at his home, his church. Whenever he inhaled, he could smell jasmine, calming and soothing. It wasn't too overwhelming in the slightest. It felt gentle, kind, much like the hand that was now stroking his hair, like the heart beating in his chest. It was just an embrace, and yet it was so therapeutic for Mayoi. He could feel himself sinking deeper, nearly convincing himself that this is where he belongs.

"What's on your mind?" Tatsumi is the first to break the silence, twirling a lock of violet around a finger.

"Um... Jasmine... Do you grow them, Tatsumi-san?"

"Our church's gardens, yes. I tend to them when I can. Did the scent cling to my clothes?"

Mayoi snuggles in closer. "It's nice. It's lovely." He jumps a bit at the feeling of Tatsumi's hand moving down his back. Ironically, it was supposed to soothe him. 

"Do you like jasmines?" Tatsumi asks, and Mayoi has to ponder the thought for a moment. He hadn't been particular about the scent of flowers— they were unbefitting of a creature like him. He never saw himself ever associating with something as lovely as an elegant rose, or a bright sunflower. But, jasmines seemed to suit Tatsumi well. The sensual and almost intoxicating sweetness it held captured Tatsumi well in the form of a flower. So deep in thought, he doesn't realize he'd been chewing idly on his bottom lip.

"...Yes, I do." He mumbles, shutting his eyes. "I love jasmines."

I love _you_.

These words stay inside his mind with no voice willing to send them off, but lucky for him, it’s more than enough for Tatsumi to know what he meant. He understood him, and sometimes it frightened Mayoi how well he did, but at the same time he felt nothing but gratitude for the fact. He can feel Tatsumi’s lips curl into a smile as they rest against the top of his head, sending his reply in the form of a light kiss that nearly went unnoticed by the shorter man. Mayoi resists the urge to giggle, his heart giddy at the affection.

“Then, I’ll get you some from the garden next time.”

Words were difficult, and oftentimes they either failed Mayoi, or they would work too well to the point of working against him. Words were terrifying, and he could never tell whether they were true or false. His mind worked in such a way that even the kindest of them could twist into daggers of vilification, that even the holiest of saints could tell him he was a good man and he’d have a visceral reaction. Tatsumi wasn’t an exception, though he wishes he was. For some reason Mayoi couldn’t comprehend that the man truly loved him, that maybe he was mistaking some form of pity for love instead. Mayoi had been fed enough lies beforehand that he couldn’t just sit still when Tatsumi would _tell_ him he loved him. Their little moments of intimacy were more than enough, the two have come to understand. And yet, Mayoi’s sensitivity didn’t allow for him to be kept privy from the occasional pained look in Tatsumi’s eyes when he had to hold back from speaking his heart. Even his heavenly smile couldn’t mask it.

_“I’m sorry.”_ Mayoi would say. 

_“What for?”_ Tatsumi would answer, as if he was pretending not to know for his sake. Mayoi was no dense fool of course, but it was better to leave the conversation at that and with a headshake, and soon to follow a little lecture about apologizing without reason. He would listen quietly, all the while drowning his senses in the sweet scent of jasmines, trying to cope in one of the only ways he knew how.

-

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-

-

-

-

Jasmines became Mayoi's favorite flower.

When stressed out of his mind after a taxing job, he would take the quickest passage to the kitchen to fix himself a cup of tea. There he would go for the box of sanpin-cha he had received as a gift from the man, and it often did a perfect job of easing his nerves. It offered solace from his buzzing mind, filling his senses with its gentle aroma as it embraced his body in a calming warmth to soothe the tension. His eyes would flutter shut in its grace, and not too long would he begin to paint the picture of a peaceful garden in his mind.

_He would be standing in front of a wooden lattice, lush green vines dotted with little white blooms hanging over to greet him gleefully. By his side was none other than their vigilant caretaker. A lovely view of mint green, and a pair of amethysts that felt as if they could see through him, down to his core. Accompanying him was a serene smile to make every angel in heaven green with envy_ — _and Mayoi has to wonder if he was truly even human._

His eyes would then open, bringing him from his waking dream to have him realize the fact that his cheeks have become hot to the touch with embarrassment, wondering if it was alright to have such delusions. He would shake away his flustered cheeks and retreat back into his room, where there he would be greeted by a vase of the flowers on his desk, smiling at him lovingly as if to welcome him home. With no one else there to see, he returns the smile, and descends on a chair to admire them closely.

Mayoi fell for jasmines. So much so, that when he found himself with more than enough time on his hands, he would visit the gardens of ES to wander. He would find himself sitting alone and gazing at the pure white blooms for hours as opposed to the stars, accompanied by no one else other than the observant moon overhead. Though one could say they were best viewed during the day, the idea of him sitting under the light for too long took away from what joy he had gazing at the flowers, and God forbid that he end up forming a foul association with one of his only sources of peace. 

At some point, he had begun caring for them as well in his own time. He knew his way around the most delicate of procedures, and it didn’t take too long before he could pick up on what he needed to do. Over time these vines grew, and though caring for them wasn’t so difficult, he had to be vigilant— patient. He pruned what needed pruning, adjusted the vines with the utmost of care and weaved them through the wooden lattice they clung to when they would grow astray. It was work that he didn’t need to do, but it was work he felt he had to do, and he wanted to. 

“I thought it would have been you, caring for these little ones.”

Mayoi nearly drops the pair of pruning scissors in his hand upon hearing his voice, and he turns to meet his gaze. “Tatsumi-san?”

“Good evening,” the man smiles, the image of him outright dazzling under the pale glow of the moonlight “jasmines?”

Mayoi squeezes the scissors in his hands, cheeks flushing red as if he’d just been caught stripping outside. “Y… Yes. I’ve been taking care of them myself.”

With his eyes stuck to the ground, he listens as Tatsumi’s steps grow closer, watching as his shadow moves into view. The silence is suffocating, and his grip on the scissors shift quickly from loose to tight. “I did my best, do they look okay?”

He doesn’t get a response immediately, and curiously he gazes up to see Tatsumi’s hand outstretched, gingerly stroking a few petals and leaves, admiring the buds he’d worked hard to cultivate. But what for? Is what Mayoi now wonders. There was no real reason, it felt _good_ to take care of them. He felt a sense of satisfaction whenever he saw ones in full bloom, hurt him when a few wilted for some reason. Unlike his dioramas, these flowers were _alive._ It hits him now, how he’d taken it upon himself to entrust the future of these buds to himself— and after finding out Tatsumi took care of his own, too! Within seconds, a torrent of thoughts floods his mind and swirls. He nibbles on his lower lip anxiously, his teeth nearly digging in as the other man turns to him.

“Mayoi-san,” he pauses for a moment before continuing “they’re beautiful.”

“R-really?” Mayoi’s eyes seem to light up at the compliment. To know all his hard work had paid off elated him to no end, especially coming from the reason he’d begun this little project in the first place. “I-I’m happy! When I first found them, there were so many wilting, so many vines untangled from the trilles. S-so, I did my best to take care of them, as if they were my own children!” As if a lock had been undone, his words come gushing out of him and fills the air between them, accompanied with a smile so genuine and so bright for the normally timid man.

Tatsumi doesn’t stop or interrupt him, instead listening with a smile of his own and with eyes that went from admiring the jasmines to another sort of flower blooming before him. “I see…” A lighthearted chuckle escapes him. “That’s very compassionate of you, Mayoi-san. I think the flowers would express their gratitude if they could speak.”

“Compassionate?” Mayoi repeats.

“Yes.” He carefully takes the scissors from Mayoi and sets them aside to take his hands in his own. “Giving your time to take care of them is compassionate. Taking the time to handle even the smallest of details is compassionate.” He gives his hands a gentle squeeze, lips spreading into a thin smile that showed well in his eyes. “Because despite all the work that goes into it, you adore these flowers. You want to see them flourish, be as beautiful as they can be.” He cups his cheek, a thumb grazing over his cheek. “Right?”

“...Yes. That’s right.” He relaxes against Tatsumi’s hand, placing a hand on his wrist. “Because these flowers mean so very much to me, Tatsumi-san.”

“Fufu… Do you love them?” The way he says it with a thin lining of mischief is something Mayoi doesn’t fail to pick up on, and it only makes his cheeks burn deeper.

“I do… I-I love them, these jasmines. I…” He turns his head, cutting himself off as he buries his lips against Tatsumi’s palm. He feels his heart in his throat, his emotions just about ready to burst, seeking other ways to be let free. He feels Tatsumi’s gaze burn holes through his being, waiting for an answer as he always does. “Mayoi-san,” the way he says his name with such tenderness Mayoi didn’t know was possible makes him melt under his touch, and with a coincidental burst of confidence the gingerly wrapped around Tatsumi’s wrist snakes to the back of his head, pulling him in closer to seal the distance between them. Time seems to stop as both hold their breaths, and Tatsumi’s eyes were wide in contrast to Mayoi’s own being shut tight. Eventually, they too flutter to a close as he savors the taste of his sweet love on his lips. When Mayoi pulls away after a while, they both exchange short breaths and red stained cheeks. Tatsumi immediately misses the feeling of Mayoi’s lips against his own, and without even sparing Mayoi the chance to throw a barrage of apologies at Tatsumi, he brings him closer for another. Longer, deeper, they let their actions speak whatever was left unsaid and more.

Words failed Mayoi, and Tatsumi knew this. But he soon understands that maybe they weren’t so important after all, not when he finds out that the more his love for Mayoi grew, the less plausible it became for him to try and express it in mere words. What a thousand words could say couldn’t possibly deliver what something as simple as a kiss could help him understand. With the way Mayoi’s body pressed against his own as his hand clutched against his shirt, there was no need to say anything else.

Pulling away, the both of them had to come to terms with the fact that everything came to an end one way or another, and yet they showed their quiet defiance of the fact with the way they laced their fingers together, staring at one another with eyes of that of a lovestruck fool. With their foreheads pressed together, Mayoi is the first to break the fragile silence between them with a little giggle that makes Tatsumi’s heart soar, and inevitably he shares in his delight, feeling a little lightheaded from the kiss.

“We should head back.” Tatsumi says, knowing he’d very well like to bask in this moment forever. 

“We should…” Mayoi sounds a little disappointed. “...T-tonight, then… Will you sleep by my side?”

“My, how shameless of you.” Tatsumi laughs a little, and his smile widens as Mayoi whines a little at the joke. “Of course, I’ll sleep beside you.” He brings his hand up, pressing a small kiss against the back of his hand. “Tomorrow, let’s visit the garden together.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated but more importantly love ttsmy!!


End file.
